all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
