I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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