so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize