What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
