i just wanna soil my oats bro
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Panties = found
And then he peed in my hair
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