I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
