i just google imaged poop.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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