fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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