Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
