do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
