South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
