Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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