I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
