But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
