I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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