Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
