we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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