Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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