Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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