Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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