honey bunches of taint.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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