I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
