so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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