Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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