perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
