I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
