she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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