Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize