Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
