sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
