i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
