I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
