sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
