Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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