I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
