take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
