i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
