I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so explain again why im purple
no
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i drank out of a bidet.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
