Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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