just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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