And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
this hospital has no fireball
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
