So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
