DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize