Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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