my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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