That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
