I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize