Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
