he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
