Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What a fucking waste of an outfit
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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