Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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