My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
