you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
