i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
