felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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