You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
