playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
