he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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