Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
