I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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