Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
