Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
