is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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