Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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