Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize