he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
